Photo courtesy of Renzo Ferrante
When we speak of balance and harmony in our lives, we often view it as an either/or paradigm between work and life: if I work too much, then I have too little time for my life outside of work and vice versa.This model reflects a singular vision of work where we are constantly sacrificing and battling between work and play in a zero-sum end game.
In his book Total Leadership, Wharton Professor of Management Stewart Friedman sums up the problem with this outdated metaphor for achieving balance in our lives with an image of two scales in balance. The problem with this metaphor, he writes, is two-fold:
First, it suggests that we need equal amounts of competing elements to create constant equilibrium, and for many people, equality in the importance of and attention to the different parts of life makes no sense. Second, it signifies trade-offs: gaining in one area at the expense of another…thinking about work and the rest of life as a series of trade-offs is fundamentally counterproductive.
This image of two competing ends of a scale doesn’t work for me because I rarely find myself in a situation where I’m in perfect equilibrium and all of the domains of my life (career, body, work, play, relationships, etc.) are perfectly in balance and harmony. In actuality, my universe is constantly in flux with a steady stream of data and input that constantly changes and alters my reality. What was true when I first woke up this morning was shot to pieces when I got into the office and started checking email and returning voicemails (new input continually creates cognitive dissonance).
With our dynamic lives we are often forced to juggle fast-paced careers with continuing education commitments, kid’s soccer schedules, social media, and a 24/7 on call mentality (yes, we want it all). We need a new framework for looking at balance in our lives that is not so dualistic and is instead reflective of the universal nature of work in the 21st century.
Friedman goes on to present a new model for work/life balance that takes into consideration these important elements. “A better metaphor for our quest comes from the jazz quartet. Becoming a…leader is anlagous to playing richly textured music with the sounds of life’s various instruments. It is not about muting the trumpet so the saxophone can be heard.”
The idea of each instrument playing it’s part not equally but uniquely seems to fit better with work in the new era. There will no doubt be times in our lives when the bass plays louder than the keyboard or the saxophone and trumpet work together to create harmony in their own ways.
The book is a great collection of examples of people who strive to achieve harmony in their lives. It’s an enjoyable read, especially for students of leadership and anyone seeking to change their frame of mind when it comes to professional and personal success (hint: they’re not mutually exclusive).
How do the areas of focus in your life work together to create harmony? What are some other ways to think of creating and maintaining harmony with all of the “instruments” in your life?
