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How Did She Know?

Roughly fifteen minutes after we found out we began envisioning our life as something totally new and different- a life of three instead of two…and a cat and golden retriever. Mid-way through this conversation my mother in law called from the beach. When Brian answered the phone, her first words, “Do you have something to tell me?” “What???” he thought to himself. Does she know something? Does the Facebook have a new mind reading feature and has already announced our news live?

She proceeded to tell Brian about the dream she had had the night before that we were pregnant.

Talk about a mother’s intuition. Whoa!

After that call, I began talking about how it could be a false test. That we needed to take it easy. Talk to a doctor. Take a dozen other home tests. Then go to the doctor and have them run several other tests. I realize now that I was simply not ready to face this irreversible, totally amazing, overwhelming, wonderful, life altering, frightening, beautiful news. I needed to hear it from the doctors lips.

Two Pink Lines

The morning of Monday, July 5th, I had the day off and it was the last week before Brian started his new job at Tulane (he started on Friday, the 9th) and we were planning to get breakfast uptown and walk around his new campus.

I had expected my cycle to start on Tuesday, June 29th-Brian’s birthday and it hadn’t come yet. A few days late, I told myself that it was stress or normal or that I had miscalculated my cycle. A few days later I stopped drinking alcohol as a measure of caution. But on Monday, I woke up obsessed (where was it?)

I got up to go to the bathroom and the pregnancy test box that was left over from the year before when we had spent a month “trying” to get pregnant was staring at me. In a hurry I opened it followed the instructions verbatim. I set it on the counter and washed my hands trying to fool myself into being calm…blasé even. Staring at the clock for 3 minutes felt like an eternity, willing myself not to look at the stick until the full time had elapsed.

Time’s up. Two pink lines. Pregnant.

Pregnant! Pregnant? Pregnant!
My mind started a flurry of thoughts…like how do I tell Brian? I didn’t even warn him that I was taking the test this morning-I did it out of impulse and fear and excitement and curiosity and the stubborn pursuit of truth. How could we be pregnant? We hadn’t really even tried. My mind was overloaded and numb at the same time.

I ran to him in the next room.

The look of our future on his face and in his eyes-the same expression he had as I walked down the aisle to meet him on our wedding day-will be tattooed in my memory forever.

I have been seeing our future in his eyes since we were 17 and today that indescribable knowing feeling came true, some 12 years later: he’s the father of my children.

Let the journey begin…

Thanksgiving…and thanks getting…

Turkey, pumpkin and ear of corn

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of year…well, to be honest, I have many favorite times of year. This one, though, brings to life my favorite value and virtue, gratitude.

This morning on the Today Show, there was a segment on instilling family values in children (click here to watch the clip). They mentioned gratitude, but it was second on the list, which was ill placed in my opinion. I believe gratitude comes first and fuels all other values, principles and virtues.

While Thanksgiving conjures up tastes like mom’s homemade gravy and the cranberry jelly from the can (my favorite!) and pecan pie; memories like the year when my mom got my sisters and brother and I matching sweat suits which we all wore proudly; it also kindles the great spirit of gratitude. Sharing thanks for what we have, for each other-both giving thanks and receiving thanks.

Gratitude begets appreciation and validation and…and…and… See, in my mind gratitude is the origin of giving and of getting.

What does Thanksgiving mean to you?